A Pale Horse by Adam Wolf

Author:Adam Wolf
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Contemporary Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Contemporary, Science Fiction, Post-Apocalyptic, Literature & Fiction
Publisher: Adam Wolf
Published: 2013-11-26T07:00:00+00:00

Forty-five minutes later Priscilla was tucked comfortably beneath her blankets, laying on her back, hands folded over her chest in preparation for prayer. The small lamp on her night stand had been dimmed to its lowest setting.

Priscilla spoke to God every night, though neither she nor her family were bible toting fanatics. They attended mass only on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Easter Sunday, and always at Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, or ‘Saint Pat’s Cat’, as Priscilla loved to refer to it. Priscilla’s nightly prayer sessions were something of a secret. Why? One might be compelled to ask. Because aside from God, Priscilla had not a single friend to speak of, and therefore not a single friend to speak with. Priscilla Wakefield suffered from a rare condition, you see, one that only God could understand, for it was God who had both blessed and cursed her with this affliction. That affliction was perfection, and she bore it unflinching.

God. It’s me again: Priscilla. How’s it going?

Just wanted to wish you good night, God. I wanted to thank you, too. Thank you for my mom and dad. Thank you for our maid, Gitta. Thank you for making our family moderately rich. Thank you for my brand new hot pink Volkswagen Beetle. Thank you for my naturally blond hair. Thank you for my beautiful blue eyes. Thanks for my boobs. They’re up to a B cup now, but you probably already know this. God, let’s stop at a C cup. I don’t want tig ole bitties. Tig ole bitties are gross and make women look like hoochies. I don’t wanna look like a hoochie, God, and I’m sure you don’t want me too either. Hmm… What else… Oh! Thanks for making Katie Moore’s shorts fall down last week in gym class. That was so funny, God. You were spot on with that one. She had it coming, that pretentious hooker.

Speaking of bad people… God, I talked with Mom tonight about the whole Warren situation. I’m trying to love the kid, God, but there’s something seriously wrong with him. I’m not sure if that’s a fault on your part, or if Satan got to him, or if he’s just retarded like I told Mom he might be. I’m leaning toward the whole Satan thing. Or maybe a Satan/retard combo. He’s really strange, God. Last week I passed by his bedroom and caught him chewing on his toenails. Check into that when you get a chance, God. Please and thank you.

Most importantly I’d like to thank you for the angel you sent me: Lukey Grail. And thank you for giving him everything he deserves: the limos, the mansions, the yacht, the three helicopters, the private jet… Thank you for making him so handsome, and thank you for giving him such a beautiful voice, and thank you for making him such a good dancer. I know you made me and Lukey for one another, God, and I know one day soon you’ll unite us. I look forward to that day, and the sooner the better (hint hint).

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